So – I decided that Friday would be an excellent day to have consciousness issues. Specifically, I decided Friday at the gym after working out with the trainer would be the perfect time.

Fortunately, I was done with the workout. We were stretching. And I felt it start to come on. I was hoping to make it to the next room over, where there were less people. I kinda figured that pale Carlton sprawled out on the floor would draw some unnecessary attention.

Turns out, I was right.

Now, I didn’t exactly pass out completely. Almost wish I had. But I didn’t. I remember people talking to me. I remember saying that I was probably dehydrated. I remember not being able to see much more than outlines of people. I remember someone saying something about calling EMTs. I remember actually saying that no one really needed to call the Ambulance.

Apparently, the pale guy sprawled out on the floor lacks credibility in these matters.

At this point, people would walk by and pretend not to stare at me.

I start coming out of it. I’m feeling better…and then the EMTs decide to roll in…WITH the stretcher.

At this point, people weren’t pretending not to stare anymore.

So they’re hooking up diodes and taking blood pressure and pricking fingers.

Turns out, I was dehydrated.

Despite them strongly encouraging me to visit the hospital, I politely declined that opportunity.

So, I spent the weekend rehydrating and avoiding any and all responsibility and chores and whatnot. It was kind of nice.

Of course, I had to pee every 3 minutes.